Chronicles of a Deadbeat Girlfriend: Vol 1

I did it.  I resigned from my post running social media stuff at a great agency, on behalf of a great brand.   Thus, a deadbeat girlfriend was born.  A term fashioned by my talented copywriter boyfriend, out of I think creativity and hopefully not his distaste for my recent “career” move.  A move consisting of a delicate tapestry of time admiring our couch, rambles of writing, and walks by the ocean.  All equal parts of course.

deadbeat girlfriend
“Too pretty to work here” coffee mug complements of Uncle Bubba, Christmas gift circa 2 years ago.

Some of you may be thinking, “What in the hell is she doing? She has no job?  How can she do that?”  Well, it is not easy.  That I have amassed what in my mind is a little cartoon pyramid-shaped pile of money I store in our spare bedroom, is no short order.  It takes a lot of time to plan a takeover of your own body, mind and spirit.  A takeover of world-domination magnitude that I have been planning for quite some time.  If I were smart I would just market this as “Life Coach” or something equally obtuse, and try to tell other people how to do the same for 675$ an hour. I haven’t gotten that far yet.

That said, following are the reactions I’ve received:

  • blank stare and smile, followed by a tearful, very serious pleading face that says “Take me with you. Please. I am as serious as this hot coffee I’m about to splash on your happy face.”
  •  blank stare and frown, followed by this face, “You piece of shit. How could you leave me here with all this work?  What are we going to do?”. This group can be segmented further: 1) those I love and like a lot will say this out loud to my face, and then we laugh and go drink, and 2) those not as close who really think that somehow their extra time at work is due to my departure, and probably will never talk to me again
  • happy exaltation and utter joy, that there is still a dying breed of people who say, “eff it. I’m not doing this anymore, and instead I will try and save the universe.”

The thing is, I have an aggressively active mind- those of you who know me, or have ever met me can attest.  For example, right now I am thinking of at least 2 of the 3 following thoughts:

  • what is the proper conjugation of “sonreir” [the verb to smile in Spanish], or is sonreir to laugh and reir to smile? I forget. Let’s look that up [new browser window open]
  • I hope my grandmother doesn’t sell the ranch house in Valley Center; it is so peaceful there. Maybe I can turn it into a wedding chapel and convince her to keep it?
  • In what world would Libya’s unrest and slinky Charlie Sheen be competing for attention? Oh right, this one. Siiigh. What can I do to help?

My friend Rob wrote once, you’re only as hot as your latest blog post, which would make me about as cold as one might be after skinny dipping in the Pacific ocean in January, down from lifeguard tower #37 in PDR.  [and yes the waves did knock me down, just to leave a bruise and ultimately scar, so that probably I could one day say at parties, “I have a skinny dipping injury, do you?”]

And so friends, I am elated to have made a decision. The decision to evolve, develop, create, and commit to whatever this time ends up being.  I urge you to do the same.  Whatever it is you’ve been lamenting, toiling, waking up over, crying about- go understand it. Go figure out what it is. Baby steps first, then giant, magnificent leaps.

Talk soon,


Chronicles of a Deadbeat Girlfriend: Vol 1

2 thoughts on “Chronicles of a Deadbeat Girlfriend: Vol 1

  1. Graham Young says:

    Living in the moment is my favorite,plus I’,m to pretty to work here coffee cup. Tons of belly laughter came out. ;/ Keep up the great work. Don’t go so s long.
    All my love, your mamma

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